from the heart

I've been been sitting here for quite awhile... just waiting for the right words to express the depth of thankfulness and joy I feel for being able to simply write on this blog just a week into my recovery. God has been and continues to be my Great Physician. There is no other explanation for what great progress I've made in the last week. God has been with me... I've felt His presence like no other time in my life. There is so much I want to share with you all about this last week, but I'm finding it hard to sit down and express it all. So, I'll probably be giving tidbits over next several weeks of my recovery, sharing what God is doing in my life and the life of my family. Presently, I'm managing the pain with V icodin every four hours. I'm not nauseous anymore (praise God!!!!) and I finally feel like myself. There is an 9 inch incision on my back, following the curve of my shoulder blade. According to my sweet nurse who visits daily, the inci...

It's been exactly one week today since I took over Katie's blog to keep everyone updated on what was going on. It's been a good day. The addition of the advil seems to be helping to relieve that last bit of pain the Vicodin wasn't getting and the generic Zofran seems to be helping with the nausea. We're trying to use it sparingly/as needed only because of how much it will cost to replace. Our home care nurse, Shirley, came by this morning and she re-dressed Katie's bandages and poked a little fun at how over the top my bandage job was :) All I had to go by was all the war movies I've seen and they were pretty liberal with bandaging as far as I can remember! Shirley is going to order up some physical therapy on top of the nursing care she's providing. Though we're supposed to deal with pain and nausea over then next several weeks I'm believing that God is with us, guiding us, putting people in our path to help us and is using it all for his Gl...

Our first night home was a bit tough. We were already exhausted from the day and I personally hadn't really thought about the fact that Katie's need for pain meds every 4 hours meant I was going to have to set my alarm to get up every 4 hours. Also, taking Vicodin is not like taking a tylenol . Apparently it makes you nauseous - even just swallowing it and you HAVE to take it with some food. Katie usually has a couple of foods to make sure she gets rid of the taste, such as crackers and apple sauce. So, it takes a little while. This morning she was feeling both pain and nausea. Katie just wanted to sleep because the nausea was so bad. We called the surgeon to see if we could get a prescription for that and to address the pain. Of course, being a surgeon, he was in surgery. It wasn't until late afternoon that we got a call back. For the pain, they want her to continue with 2 pills of Vicodin but to add 2 pills of Advil on top of that. For the nausea, they prescribed Zof...

Katie is Home!!! I finally have my girls under one roof again and the two peas back in their pod :) We got home right about noon and the day has been filled with getting situated, getting cleaned up and the hospital grit off and, of course, catching up with Elena. We expected we'd walk in the door and Elena would tackle Momma but that didn't happen. It was actually kind of odd. She just looked at Katie. We had to carry her over to Katie and she didn't seem all that interested in her. After a few minutes though she started running between Katie, me, and Marcia and giving us a hug. Eventually she got reacquainted with Momma and didn't want her to leave her sight. Even if Mom was just going into our bedroom Elena would start crying. She would go up to Katie's legs and say "up. up." We're all glad to see them back together again. From a pain perspective, Katie seems to have transitioned to the Vicodin pills. There hasn't been any increased complaint o...

Wonderful news! There's a great chance Katie may be going home today. The surgeon's PA and Katie's cardiologist both think Katie is ready to go home today. We're just waiting to see if the surgeon himself will buy off on it. It's up to Dr. Baldwin now (remember that yesterday he said, "we'll think about Wednesday"). So we walk, eat and wait to hear. Katie is REALLY missing Elena now. She said she feels disconnected from her and wonders if Elena misses her. Katie is still dealing with pain and nausea seems more present with the vicodin than with the epidural medication. Regarding Katie's grandmother: her surgery went well and we hear she is leaving the hospital today as well! God is good!!! Thanks for continued prayers! Gotta go. Gotta walk the first lap of the day around the floor.

PRAISE GOD - THE TUBES ARE OUT!!!! The tubes were removed this morning and not long after that the epidural was removed! Katie is no longer tethered to anything when she wants to get up and move around and, without the tubes, getting up and moving around isn't nearly as painful. That being said, they tell us the name of the game is still "pain management". The epidural was removed as a step to transitioning her to a pill form of pain medication since she won't have an epidural at home. Katie is supposed to monitor what "level" of pain she thinks she is at. When she gets to what she considers a 3 she needs to alert the nurse. We are to anticipate it will take the nurse ~15 minutes to get the medication to Katie and then another 45 minutes, after she takes it, for the medication to get into her system and take effect. The surgeon told us this morning that she's probably not going home tomorrow but "let's think about Wednesday." He said t...

For all those following this blog, we'd like to request prayer for Katie's grandmother Laurel. Please lift Laurel up as she is having surgery tomorrow to have a pace maker put in to help her maintain her heart rythm. She will be in North Carolina for the surgery but she and her family live in Ohio. Please pray that the surgery and recovery will go well and quickly AND for pain relief. Katie's aunt will be there with her, but please pray that logistically everything will go smoothly and that they'll have the strength to endure this time being so far from home. We pray God's hand on you and the surgical team tomorrow grandma Laurel. We pray strength and endurance for you aunt Laurie. We wish we could be there. Love y'all!

I just got this pic Marcia emailed to me of Elena praying at her meal for Momma to encourage Katie...

Last night was tough. We maybe slept a total of 4 hours. Just getting up to go to the restroom ~12 feet away took anywhere from 35 minutes to an hour from getting up to getting back into the bed and comfortable to fall asleep again - the pain caused by managing the chest tubes is just terrible. Sometimes they slip and jerk or fill with fluid making them heavier, all of which means they cause more pain. I was having to REALLY focus on what I was doing since I was so groggy having been pulled out of a deep sleep. It was a little scary being trying to snap out of my daze while managing her tubes. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm causing more pain than I'm helping. Once 4 am rolled around there was no getting back to sleep with blood pressure monitoring tech, xray technician, nurse shift change and doctor rounds. They're all necessary, it just makes getting rest difficult. Katie seemed geared up and ready to go at 6:30 AM. I asked if we could go back to sleep so she obliged ...

Nothing like ice cream at 3 in the morning to boost your spirits! Since arrival at the hospital I've been on a strict (boring) diet. Every time I called to place my order for a meal, I'm - they inform me I'm not allowed to have certain things and I end up ordering boring stuff. I had to wake up for a "pitstop" at 2 and realized that I was really starting to get my appetite back...my sweet tooth back. So when Emily came in to get me back into bed, I asked her if there were any snacks available. She came back in with 7 different selections of sweet things. Not sugar free! The real stuff! So I just finished up a small little cup of vanilla ice cream! It's amazing how such a little thing can boost your spirits. I don't even know how to begin to thank everyone for your dedication, your committement to pray for me. There is no way I could've made it down these challenging pathways without the support of people on either side holding me up. Many times through...

The hospital blocks Facebook so we're not able to access it. We do get an email from facebook about what you've written on her wall but we can't see anything else where Facebook is concerned.

Sorry it's been so long since the last blog entry. Now that I can be with Katie around the clock, my time here is much more busy and productive - and has she ever been productive! Katie has a pillow that she has to hug when she's coughing. I think it's supposed to help make her coughs stronger/more forceful to help her get air into her lungs and start working to get the gunk out. Getting the gunk out is going to help prevent pneumonia along with the plastic contraption I mentioned earlier. Her day time nurse was very patient and kind. She helped Katie do a full lap around the floor. I can't remember whether she said they'd like her to do 3 or 4 laps around the 5 th floor by the time she goes home. She said, obviously it's something you have to work up to. Katie was a champ. She said she felt better standing up and walking around than she did laying down. Once we finished doing that I sat with Katie and started reading my blog entries to her. While I'd share...

Lot's of things have happened since last night. Katie is now out of the ICU and on the Telemetry floor- 5 th floor. She's doing very well. Apparently last night she threw up 3 times. They've taken a number of items out of her. She still has the IV meds and the dreaded tubes but when I got here Julie and my sister Melissa were helping her back to the bed using her walker. She had been in the recliner earlier. She is currently trying to get some sleep as it seems the physical therapists are on the floor, making their rounds. Need to get up some strength for that. I didn't make it here until ~1:20 PM because I woke up this morning at 6:30 AM to Elena with a horrible coughing sound. When I brought her to lay in bed with me I could hear a really bad wheezing sound. Worse than I've ever heard her before. So, I made an appointment with her pediatrician for 10:30 AM. She didn't have a fever and she was her normal happy, playful self. But she did have a lot of congesti...

When we went in to visit at 8 PM Katie was sitting in the recliner. The recliner had been pulled up immediately next to her bed. The evening nurse was watching her closely because she was feeling like she was about to vomit (there's not a nice way to say that). Apparently she had been feeling really nauseous . As we talked with her she was in and out of it. Constantly trying to adjust her position, wires, tubes, pillows, etc. so that it didn't hurt so much. The nurse was also giving her medication to help with the nausea. At 8:40 ish she asked if she could be moved back to her bed so she could go to sleep and so that me and her sister Julie could tuck her in. We were allowed to wait outside her room while they moved her back into the bed. She let out some cries but they were not anywhere near what I expected to hear. She was being a trooper and her nurse was being very encouraging. Even still, I was having a hard time. Once she was back in bed we talked with her a little long...

Kate, You say so often how much of a wimp you are when it comes to pain. You delivered Elena without any pain medication and you are making it successfully through, what the heart surgeons are saying is one of the most painful surgeries they do. More painful than open heart surgery! By God's grace and strength you have and are making it through! You are no longer the wimp you claim yourself to be! Trust and know that God has done a marvelous work in you and given you a wonderful podium from which to encourage others. I have never had to endure the pain you have endured but I'm inspired by your courage and your faith! I love you! I am so, so, SO proud of you! Love, Peter

Great news! The charge nurse came out to the waiting room and notified me that Katie has already moved from the bed to the recliner. In her words, "she was a STAR! She didn't complain, not once!" Praise God! Thank you Lord! Thank you everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement!

This was a tough visit. Katie is not just tired. She is weary. She feels alone and she is in pain. She wants to sleep and she wants more pain medication. Dr.s and nurses don't want her to sleep or get more pain medicine because it will make her even more sleepy, her days and nights will be all turned around and, even more so, her respiratory system slows down. She doesn't breathe as well, as often, or as deeply when this happens. She has asked for them to wait until the 8 pm visit for them to have her move to the recliner. I'm not sure if they are going to but if they do PLEASE pray for strength for me to be able to handle seeing her in the pain they've been telling me she's going to feel. Last night she was screaming she was in so much pain. I would expect that could be the case here as well. Katie had Elena without any pain medication and she says this is 100 times more painful. I have no comprehension of what that must feel like and makes my consolation difficult...

Our 1 PM visit was a sweet time. Dan, Marcia and I sat there as Katie, whispering because of her dry throat, went on to talk about how God has been preparing her for this time of pain and suffering. Anticipating what she would learn and how she would be able to help, console, and empathize with others as a result of having gone through this pain. She's never been in the hospital as a result of an operation and suffered through a recovery so she hasn't had an idea of what that was like. It was great to hear her pour out her heart about what God is showing and teaching her and even praying about those things we don't know is happening as a result of her experience. She is an inspiration for me and so wonderful to see her make the most of this experience when it could easily be (and understandably so) a pitty party. It was a wonderful time.

Katie was asleep during my 11AM visit with her. It was the most peaceful I've seen her. I just sat with her. I spoke with her nurse. She said that at 4 PM they're going to have her sitting up in bed to help move blood flow to her lower body in preparation for moving her to the recliner in her room at 6 PM. She said, "it's going to hurt...because of the tubes." Her eyes told me it's going to hurt - A LOT. It's difficult for me to even think about the pain she's going to have to deal with, especially seeing her sleeping so peacefully. They have to keep pushing. It's good for her healing and helps prevent the pneumonia. God, I pray for mercy for Kate, strength for both of us and cover for healing.

Sorry for the delay in updating. The first ICU visitation of the day is not until 9 AM. I had breakfast with Elena and my mom (at our house) this morning. Elena is doing great. She asks about Momma but she is not having any separation anxiety. That definitely makes things easier for me. Katie said that last night ~midnight she was in so much pain that she was wanting to call me to tell me she was dying. They had to call an anesthesiologist . She said they said it would be 25 minutes. She told them she wasn't going to make it that long. Jen - I'm so glad (selfishly) you were up at 2:30 AM praying for her! She said she felt alone and that nobody was praying. I'll be sure to tell her you were up at my next visit :) She is doing well now. Though there is persistent pain it is "manageable". That's the word of the last day and a half - "manageable". I wish I could take her pain on myself... Her color is coming back and she is looking much better. Her rang...

I'm home now but wanted to update. Katie is still in quite a bit of pain - a little more than the last visit but she is looking better. Her color is starting to come back a little bit. She said she wasn't able to sleep much because of the nurses needing to mess with her monitoring instruments, taking blood, etc. This visit was in the middle of the shift change and her night time nurse seems very nice as well. Relief from pain, itching and good night sleep for her are my prayers tonight.

Well, I got to do my 5 PM visit with Katie. She was extremely drowsy. The pain seemed to have decreased. She wasn't pushing her epideral drip (pain relief) button nearly as much as she had been before. She did mention nobody should have to go through this much pain. Hear oxygen tube, that sat at the base of her nose, had been removed and laying off to the side. Nausea, being hot and thirsty were the biggest issues. I take that as a good sign. While uncomfortable, it seems that with each visit, the issues become less "critical". The nurses gave her something to manage the nausea she was feeling and they brought in an oscillating fan to help cool her down. Once the nausea decreased I was allowed to give her some ice chips. My 30 minute visit turned into a little over an hour. Thank you ICU nurses. Momma asked about her daughter. How is Elena? What did she do today? What is she doing right now? Even heavily sedated her desire to care for Elena doesn't cease. We called ho...

Just saw Katie for ~20 minutes. She was in a lot of pain. She said earlier she kept saying "I'd rather die!" because of how much pain she was in. They brought a pain nurse. The pain nurse increased the epideral dosage. The pain nurse said that the epideral is to help with the pain she's feeling from the incession. She has a couple of tubes in her to help ensure the blood and other fluid inside her body have a place to drain if there's anything. Those tubes are rubbing against her ribs and kind of grabbing them as they move. This is causing her a great deal of pain in the chest area (outside of the incession area). This is being managed by morphin and other medication through an IV. The increased epideral is having the side effect of A LOT of itching so now they're going to giver her something for the itching. More incession pain = more epideral = more itching. While I was in there the pain had subsided quite a bit and she said she could finally breathe a littl...

We're still waiting in ICU waiting room. Nurse just came by to update us. We've been unable to see Katie because she's in a great deal of pain. They are trying to manage her pain before calling us in so that we don't get anxious and she's not comfortable. Please pray for these efforts.

We just finished speaking with the Dr. He said everything went well. All the early signs are positive. They're feeling pulses in her feet where that wasn't the case before. They've been able to remove the treachea tube from her already which I hear is a great sign. She could be sitting up by tonight but they are wanting to start getting her sitting up by tomorrow morning at a minimum. She's moving her legs already so that great news because it indicates there is no immediate paralysis. The potential for late paralysis is very rare and the Dr. said he is not concerned about that aspect, but we continue to pray. So now we are moving to the 4th floor, ICU. We've been told we may be able to see her in about 20 or 30 minutes though she'll be pretty groggy. Thanks everyone! Keep praying :)

Great news! Just got to talk with a nurse on the surgical team (via cell phone) and he said that the surgery went very well and they are in the "closing mode". The Dr. is supposed to be out to speak with us in ~50 minutes or so. Praise God! Please continue to pray for the recovery, no bleeding issues, etc. Thanks everyone! Peter

As I sit here, seemingly twiddling my thumbs, I remembered I had been asked to broadcast about meals. So many people have offered to provide us meals during this time and we are greatful. It'll be very helpful for us and for our family watching our daughter during this time. My sister, Melissa, is taking on the duanting task of coordinating dates and times. If you're interested in providing a meal she can be reached at vivamelissa@gmail.com . Here's an excerpt of an email she sent out yesterday regarding our needs where meals are concerned. This whole event is a growing experience for me - learning to ask for help, allowing others to help. I know even now, to do it on our own would be extremely difficult, so I'm trying to embrace it and just go with it (not to mention broadcasting to the world my lactose intolerance). Thank you all for those that are able to help in this way! From Melissa... Meals will start this coming Monday, November 17th and extend (for the time bei...

Monitor indicated at 9:36 AM that surgery has started. Here we go...

Hi everyone. This is Peter, Katie's husband. I'll be updating her blog periodically today and throughout her stay in the hospital. First off, I wanted to tell everyone thank you for all of your support, prayers and encouragement! It has indeed had a very visable affect on our attitudes and a wonderful reminder of how we are in God's hands and he is in control of all things! When Katie and I woke up this morning at 4:45 AM she was in great spirits. Humming and smiling, relaxed and ready to get going. We arrived at the hospital right at 6 AM and met with the anesthesiologist and then later her surgeon. The anesthesiologist gave her a run down of what all he was going to do. At one point he stopped and very frankly said, "this is one of the more painful surgeries we do". Katie didn't flinch. That brought me great comfort to know she's ready for this. It sounded like much of the pain will come from the fact that they will have to cut part of her rib so that it...

Although, we're all praying for the surgeon and nurses, I am reminded this evening that it is HIS hands that will heal me. Tonight I go to sleep in peace. Peace that passes all understanding... I'm not in tears, not anxious, not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. I can only explain this peace as my first miracle of healing... healing from anxiety and fear. Tonight, I rest knowing the Lord is near to me. We feel the prayers and ask for your continued prayers tomorrow. There have been so many wonderful Scripture verses that have been shared and I have been encouraged by. Thanks everyone! I'm off for a good nights sleep... Peter will update you all tomorrow. My Prayer: My desire is for healing, Lord. I pray that you might be my Surgeon tomorrow. Step in and do your thing! I praise you for your peace. Thank you for the amazing support of family, friends and strangers. I faith that you will be with me, when no one else is there. I delight in knowing I can trust in you. I w...

After 3 hours of sleep (for me) and and hour of sleep (for Peter), we were up and at it for a full day at the hospital. Our long wait to see the surgeon, was followed by some unexpected news. He told us that because of an emergency surgery he was having to do tomorrow (my original surgery date), he needed to push back my surgery until Thursday. It was hard to hear, especially after Peter stayed up all night working, so he could be available to me and I felt I was mentally prepared to go in tomorrow morning. So, the big day is now, Thursday, November 13 th . He continued to tell me some more information about the surgery, in much more detail than he had in previous appointments. I'll arrive at the hospital at 6am and the surgery should start at 7:30am. I'll start to wake up sometime in the afternoon and spend the first night and possibly the second night in the ICU. He will most likely put a catheter in my spinal cord to drain off any fluid, to help minimize the risk of...

Some of last weekend's activities: I love this photo I took at Elena's friend's ballerina birthday party. All the little girls got tutus to wear! Then we went to dinner... Elena was eyeing the desserts... (Peter took this one!)

I'm so humbled by the support of so many people --- thank you! I have lost count of the number of people that are praying for me, but I know that God has been answering everyone's prayers for peace. I feel physically, emotionally and spiritually uplifted today. I can only hope that my experience will bring hope, faith and encouragement to others. On Sunday my pastor asked if he and elders of the church could come and pray with me. So, Monday evening they came to our home and prayed with us. My pastor and his wife, our worship pastor, our associate pastor and his wife, and one of the elders in his wife --- all came to pray and offer their support. It was a powerful expierence! There is no way Peter I could walk down this road without support from this loving group of people. From the time they left, I've been on a spiritual high of sorts... which is probably why I'm up so late. I'm simply in awe of how God is preparing my heart for the days and weeks ahead. Tomorrow ...

Welcome. Today marks the Grand Opening of my new blog. As the title suggests, I'll be blogging from the heart. Back in my days working at the Chamber of Commerce, I would have had a giant (and I mean GIANT) pair of scissors to perform a Ribbon Cutting Ceremony ... but I don't work there and being a mom now, I don't think that's such a good idea. So, instead, I'll simply post the beginning of many pictures of my 17 month old daughter, Elena, taken this week: Happy Fall!

Well, the secret’s out. I'm scheduled to have surgery to repair the narrowing of my aorta on November 12. I’ ve known about the surgery for about a month now, but haven't had the time or the energy to sit down and write the details. There’s something about writing it all out that allows the reality of it to sink in. Here’s the scoop: The prelude... At age 2, during a physical, it was discovered that I have a heart murmur. Lots of tests were done then and in the years that followed, only for the doctors to declare it a "functional heart murmur". Because there were no other symptoms, there was reason to believe there was nothing "wrong". Around age 16, I developed borderline hypertension, which then developed into hypertension in my early twenties. At that point, I went to see a cardiologist, we'll call her Dr. First. Essentially she did what I thought to be a through examination, followed by kidney tests, EKGs , and other tests. All the tests came back t...

Today is the "soft opening" of my new blog. Joining the blogging world is something I've been considering for about a year, but until recently I didn't feel I'd have much reason to keep up with it. I've started this blog for one main reason: to keep in better touch with my family and friends on the important and unimportant things going on in my life. In particular, the next couple of months I'll probably focus a lot on my upcoming heart surgery (more info to come). So, here I am... starting a blog. Grand opening to follow soon.